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Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

10.06.2025 20:55

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

every narc relationship can only function in its dysfunction of power and control. Without the power and control imbalance they become bored, irritated, spiteful , angry, and do all sorts of mind games. When you are devalued the narc has to figure out now do they turf you physically or just emotionally. They may stay in the relationship to play, they may stay because they have something they can still exploit and use. Many make it so hard you leave or they will eventually ghost or discard you

the avoidance is part n parcel

besides being devalued sadly you are feeling the shift and im

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

sure your love life, romance, cuddling, being intimate has shifted as well

im

porn, dating cites, affairs, even escort services , all sorts of nastiness hidden from you.

Why is there no great temptress figure in any of Tolkien’s major works?

your most likely going to recieve the silent treatment and moments of total avoidance. Its actually not only avoidance but more specifically control.

The narc once saw you as perfect, secured, love bombed you , groomed you, and due to their illness they cannot maintain or sustain healthy and reciprocal relationships.

your job is to study this because knowledge is going to be what will help make things clear. Dr ramani is the top expert with fantastic videos , podcasts and books. Her youtube videos are free.

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Avoid is the key word.

its a very challenging place to be. We all get it. Its quicksand and no you cant fix or heal them. Its a chonic illness. Its a personality disorder that is self destructive. Its a cluster of symptoms , behaviours and traits. It is difficult to fathom why a grown adult is chosing to avoid you and become cold, emotionally distant. No they arent interested in the relationship because all npd relationships have an expirey date and shelf life. Its not going to get better.

Ild say avoidance is just the tip of the ice berg. Im sure more has been going on that is off but at this point, like i said its time to start researching personality disorders and cluster b.

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not only are narcissists lazy (they want you to do all the work in the relationship), but they love to avoid and basically can be very cowardly, passive aggressive or just flat out antagonistic.

avoiding you is just the easy way out. You will now be frozen in a point of time where you either captulate to them, or fight them, fight for the imploding relationship, and either continue these cycles or you can understand the illness and do work on you.

just know your seeing the true colors of this person. If this person is narcissistic or has high traits of narcissism then im sure you have come to realize things in oz now are changing , only your brain is starting to connect the dots. Too many little things are popping up. Dont ignore it or try to bargain or fix. Accept your narc is driving the bus and you have to start taking care of you.

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very sorry, from idealized to devalue. Most likely off chasing and securing new supply. Check their phone, lap top, ipad and your most likely going to find what we all did.

Now add to that maladadaptive coping skills and up to this point they have learned how to live in an insulated bubble of grandiosity , entitlement and self centeredness. Hence why they act like petulant children and take a torch to their life and yours.

the name of the game is to be in control, hide their shame and brokenness, they dont want you to know they snapped in early childhood due to parental abuse neglect, abandonment , genetics, environment etc. So from there , going forward you are dealing with a emotionally stunted toddler who basically has no idea how to adult.

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Im very sorry your experiencing this. Your not alone. Ild suggest singles therapy/councelling really helps.